Ladies, we need to have a talk

The talk that we need to have is about your fingernails and toenails.
Look, I'm not being picky here.  Not at all.  Is the square pink-and-white 90's stripper acrylic nails your thing?  Awesome!  Is nail art your thing?  Sweet!  Do you prefer to have short dark nails that I personally love?  Fantastic!  I also love short clean nails with no polish at all.

The issue that I'd like to discuss with you is chipped nail polish.

Your nails say a lot about you.  When your polish is chipped or you're missing an acrylic nail or two and tried to cover it with a shitty Hello Kitty Band-aid, it says that you do not care about yourself.  When I see this on a lady, it makes me think a few things:

1.  Your house is probably really dirty.

2.  Your car has fast food bags all over it's interior.

3.  It makes me look at your teeth to see if you have meth mouth.

MOST IMPORTANTLY:

4.  Your vagina most likely smells like hot garbage.

Who wants to look like they have smelly bits?

I know that chips happen.  You have 12 hours to remedy the situation. Either carry the color of polish that you're currently wearing in your makeup bag for 911 touch-ups OR don't wear nail polish.   THE END.