Sunday, April 29, 2012

Well, pin a rose on your nose

 
  Like most people my age, I grew up watching Full House.  Every Friday night, I would make sure I was sitting in front of the tv with a bowl of spumoni to watch that week's new episode on TGIF.  The Tanner family was my other family.  I can tell you the storyline of each episode within the first 20 seconds of the show.  "Tea for two, two for tea", "There's a car in the kitchen!", "If every word I said made you laugh, I'd talk forever".  You get the picture.

    Some time ago, maybe about 6(?) years, I was watching "The Aristocrats" at a friend's house.  For those not familiar with this...work...it's basically a dvd of different comedians doing their own version of the "world's longest dirty joke" and the whole thing is these people trying to out-filth each other.  This dvd was my introduction to Bob Saget, a person outside of my tv dad Danny Tanner.  I was now to know a filthy dirty completely shockingly depraved Bob.   Well, that night I went home and dreamed one of the most vivid and totally wonderful sexytime dreams ever, starring (you guessed it) Bob Saget.   After waking from this dream, I knew what I had to do next:  find and eff Bob Saget.  Over the next few years I did a bit of research and found out a few places he hangs out at and even called into a local radio show to try and talk to him, which is ridiculous because what would I have said?  "Uh, hi, umm...Bob, I had a dirty dream about you, can we, like, get together sometime?".  Of course not.
     Well, anyhow, time passed and I never found him.   Fast forward a few years, I stop my hunt for Bob, meet a nice boy, tie the knot and here we are.  Well, a little over a month ago I heard a commercial on the radio station that my hubby works at advertising a one-night-only comedy extravaganza and one of the performers on the lineup is none other than ::drumroll please:: Mr Bob Saget.   Holy guacomole, this is my chance.  I called hubby and told him that I would not be missing this opportunity to get close to my "other man".
     The night of the show had come and I was ready.  I got dressed in my new one sleeved jumpsuit and fastened on the Bob Saget button that a friend sent me and I was ready for action.   Thanks to Hubby having a job at the station that put on the event, we got all access backstage fanciness.  We made our way back towards the production room where the station employees kind of hang out and in the hallway, maybe 5 feet from our destination was my man, Mr Bob Saget.   He was chatting with another couple that he appeared to know.  I HATE to be "that guy".   Again, thanks to Hubby's cool job I've been able to meet some really cool people, many of which have been a REALLY big deal for me and I never want to take a picture or do the whole "I'm a really big fan" thing.  It's just not what I like to do, but this time all bets were off.  I was going to lurk and lurk until Mr. Saget's conversation was finished with this couple and it was my turn.

     As we lingered off to the side, low and behold, Jesse Katsopolis, lead singer of Jesse and the Rippers, Mr. John Stamos was standing right next to us.   Be still my heart, he is just beautiful.  He initiated small talk, we chatted for a couple of minutes about how much he hates that he's now become completely dependant on eyeglasses to see anything and he told me that I look like a "younger, hotter Gina Gershon" (omg!!!!!   omg!!!!).  We wrapped things up as I noticed that Bob was saying his goodbyes to the couple...he was mine.  Hubby rushed over to him, sounding almost panicked as he  shouted "BOB!!!!!   Can you please take a picture with my wife?!?!?!".  He obliged and I pointed out that I was wearing his face on my jumpsuit and to please enjoy how genius that is.  As he was getting ready to take the picture, Hubby super awkwardly said "Bob, get close to her.  She LOVES you.  There are only two men on earth I'd let touch my wife and you're one of them."   I was horrified.  Mr. Saget kind of laughed it off and I apologized for the extreme awkwardness and we went our separate ways.

     It wasn't exactly the moment I'd been dreaming of for the last 6-ish years, but it was still pretty goddamn wonderful.   Last night, I added to my Full House collection.
   
I'd been hearing tales of legendary theme parties that these two friends throw semi-often.  Well, last night was Dave's birthday and in honor of his special day, the two dudes threw a super fun goth themed party.  It was required that everybody come in costume as they apparently get pretty serious about it which I LOVE.  The night was in full swing, everybody was in goth makeup  and wearing what was pretty much my uniform for a good 8 years of my growing up. The only thing that could have made this party any more fantabulous would, of course, be a Full House cast member showing up.  Well lucky for me, that is EXACTLY what happened!!!!  Miss Jodie Sweetin, Stephanie Judith Tanner, owner of Mr. Bear, poster child for Oat Boats cereal, was sitting next to me on the sofa.   Our butts were touching.   I didn't say anything, rather she pointed out that we were wearing the exact same knee high socks.   Oh my god, we're practically sisters.   I'm in.

 I didn't have the nerve to ask for a picture with her, partly because she was just enjoying herself at a house party and partly because I didn't want her to say no due to her being a tabloid target for a while after her somewhat highly publicized meth addiction.
     Knowing of my borderline obsession with Full House and seeing the look in my eye, my friend asked the birthday boy if he could do me a solid and work out a not-super obvious way to get Jodie and me in a photo together.   God love him, Dave worked it out.  He grabbed her, pulled her onto his lap and said "Come on!  We're taking goth pictures.  You have to look all angry and sad!" Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Dave the birthday boy, Miss Jodie Sweetin and myself in full goth regalia.


  


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